If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
