Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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