how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
