You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
