ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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