It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
