can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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