thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
