I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
