The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
