@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
