You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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