so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
