that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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