I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
