sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
