she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
