We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
