her vagine was all disorganized.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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