I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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