I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
