There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
