Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
