The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
