Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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