Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
