GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
