I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
