Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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