I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
