you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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