My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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