I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
