Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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