drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
