scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
