she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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