I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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