I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
