last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
