At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This can only be settled by a dance off.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
