he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
