she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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