This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
