I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
