i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
