This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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