Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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