I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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