why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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