My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
