those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
